Where does my gifting begin and the anointing of God end? When people encounter me, do they clock how much of who I am is actually God working through me? When I speak out encouragement, give of myself or take time to pray, I am sometimes concerned that others may perceive me as something I am not! At times the timid, frightened me stands up to speak out on behalf of the marginalized. At other times the stuttering, confused me finds words full of love and eloquence. And at times the hesitant, doubting me finds faith to share, and bring hope and reassurance to the lost and the broken.
Yet I am a blend, a mix of human and heavenly. I’m stirred by kingdom promises, to create new flavours. I truly am a fusion of redemptive love and vulnerable humanity. Believe me, this is not an equation complete. I am work in progress! When I walk daily upon the love, truth and grace laid out in the word of God, I find kingdom life awakens. Now, in the darkness and dirt of a fallen world, truly amazing life moments happen. May I always give this life out to others. This is not the “old” me, but the “new” me. The restored me! Forgiven me! Free me! Hopeful me! God through me!
Often during prayer times I have found myself taking to the piano and playing some chords gently in the background as others pray and intercede. Music seems to have an extraordinary effect on us. It lifts our hearts, it inspires our minds, and it can also help connect us with our maker, our Father in Heaven.
I wrote “Quietude” this summer in one of those moments.
I hope that this track will create a “space” for you to pray, find inspiration, and soak in the peace of God. It’s deliberately long (at over thirty minutes) and musically stays in a “tranquil” zone. In the times when I’ve needed to contribute to a meeting (and not been free to play!) I’ve found it hard to find a piece of music that does this, and often instrumental albums may have a really useful track but then follow with a track that doesn’t work that well for prayer or ministry.
You may find that there are other uses for “Quietude”. Perhaps you know a friend who finds it difficult to settle for sleep, and some calming music is needed. Or you are leading communion and would like to bring something creative in. Or perhaps you are writing or preparing for something and just need some gentle ambience in the background.
You’ll know the track is near finishing when you hear a high falling piano theme, that repeats itself. I put this in as a cue – if you are using the music to lead a prayer or meditation time you’ll know that you have about a minute before it runs out!
Here’s the video version of the track:-
You can also download and keep it as an mp3 for $2.00 by clicking on the Paypal button here:-
I have been so blessed over the last 25 years to be part of a church that regularly stands and prays for individuals. Over this time an extraordinary amount of special people have come alongside me and prayed for me. There have been so many – from those who sheltered me in my early days of faith as a student, through work and career choices, having my first child, praying with me in illness and encouraging me to stand up and try again after disappointment or failure. And what is even more extraordinary – it feels like one long prayer – like a whole thing – each person speaking out God’s heart for me, proclaiming God’s love over me and instilling God’s hope within me. Wow! So many different prayers, yet it has been one song, one story, one voice! God has used so many different people to reveal His heart for me.
I will never ever forget the first time someone actually said “can I pray for you?” Standing with me, interceding for me. Such things have changed the course of my life. And the most remarkable truth is this – we are all invited to this lavish banquet, this beautiful taste of heaven.
This poem about love just poured out of me in one continuous flow of writing. I feel the words are a gift from God, from the heart of God.
I am a thinker, I dwell upon the deep things in life, and I am also a romantic. When I received the Holy Spirit into my life, a new and more intimate connection with God happened. So it is understandable that God would use a thinking, romantic and creative girl to communicate something.
When Jesus died and rose again the very nature of love was transformed. Love was released into the world like never before – love grace, love forgiveness, love freedom! So although I am a romantic it is never in a fluffy, rose-tinted kind of way. I am continually seeing love in action, releasing love, speaking love and building love in every way I can! I have a feeling that you will too. Let this great love adventure take flight!
You can download the film in HD & read the words by clicking here.
Sometimes I just stop and listen. I might be in a cafe, picking up children from school, or walking down the street. It is an extraordinary thing to dwell for a moment on the sounds that surround us – the chatter of voices, scrapes and scratches from chairs and cutlery, the hum of appliances or the buzz of traffic. I wonder how God must feel when from this collage of sounds he hears us address him?
“Father” – a silent prayer amidst a social gathering.
“God it’s me” from behind the desk in a classroom.
“Jesus I love you” – grace filled singing heard above the cacophony of city life.
“Help me” – a fleeting thought within a workplace.
The sound of beautiful heart cries rising from a fallen world.
At times when I find I’m once again bewildered, confused by all around me I will try to listen for birdsong. Sometimes I find I can tune into their songs, and I sit and wonder. How is it that they sing so sweetly? These thoughts lead me home. Home to a creative Father, home to love reigning, home to the beautiful music which resounds from creation. “Lord, may this birdsong in my life take centre stage. May I tune into the kingdom of heaven more and more each day.”
May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face;
the rains fall soft upon your fields
and until we meet again,
may God hold you in the palm of His hand.
(traditional gaelic blessing)
I love the words in this blessing. It is an outpouring of peace that I have used over and over again, and in giving it out I have found that most people can receive these beautiful poetic words regardless of their background, age or beliefs. Blessing others is so very important because simple words like these can have remarkable effect on peoples lives. Blessings create equality, a level place where we stand together. They create harmony where lives join and merge – there is no room for competition or comparison here. Blessings also tend to evoke the peace that we all crave for in our hearts. “Peace be with you” to which we respond with “and also with you”. Blessings are also words of declaration, and Christian blessings stand on the finished work of Christ. When Jesus died on the cross and rose again, His victory was complete over the forces of darkness and the power of death. And now we can walk in this blessing, on this day and into eternity!
Here is the song we have created that is based on this ancient blessing:-
You can download the mp3 of this song by clicking here.
We all prefer not to be the one in need, the one who is confused, or the one not managing well. When I need assistance, I feel the little tower of control topple beneath me. Sometimes it only takes a brick to be displaced and all my stability seems in jeopardy. It is a precarious way to live, and yet most of us build in this way. Everything gets assembled, from our self image and careers paths, to our friendships, interests and finances, brick by brick, all carefully stacked upwards.
I believe we have this all wrong. The western ideas of individuality and progress leave us on unstable ground. What if life is more like a puzzle, with pieces of our lives linking together to form pictures and images? As one piece changes or disappears, our lives don’t collapse, we don’t become defeated or unstable. Instead, we discover that we are connected in a different way. New pictures emerge. And when we embrace brokenness in this way, we become softer, more malleable and aware of others. Now we no longer need to keep the tower stable. Now there is no tower, just a puzzle placed and made in a bed of grace.
And if we are free to remake an area of our lives, or change a belief or understanding, then we can allow others the grace to do the same. Maybe our picture might mingle a little more, our lives affect and enhance others, and we would allow our ourselves to be changed too.
Sadly there are many in the world who suffer great adversity, grief, hardship or abuse in their childhood. I know from personal experience just how damaging this can be, because these assaults on our developing emotions, thinking patterns and self-identity can take a long time to unpick. Many young people can give testimony to the thought of “wanting it all to end” and tragically some amazing, unique beautiful ones do not survive.
I wrote this song about fifteen years back, when I was in a daily battle inside my own heart and mind with self-hatred. As I gradually accepted God’s unconditional love for me, I slowly discovered that I was able to love myself. In this new place I was able to face the roots of my despair, find counselling and support, and move towards “life”. My hope in creating this film is that with God’s help I can breathe “tomorrow” into the lives of those who continually feel they can’t face another day.
Tomorrow with love, tomorrow with promise, tomorrow with freedom, tomorrow without fear, tomorrow in relationship, tomorrow with vision, tomorrow with future! Heaven longs to embrace those in despair. If you are in this place – begin by finding someone you can confide in – whether this be a friend, family member or useful helpline. Then carry on taking small steps each day. I have been there. And I found that even the most desolate ground in our lives can be restored with Christ as His remarkable redeeming love settles within our souls.
I hope that this testimony song will be a channel for Christ’s light and hope to help restore those in deep despair:-
Read the lyrics to this song and download the film in HD by following this link.
I have a simple way of praying when I feel overwhelmed by the amount of people I have a heart for, and find that I am “going under” trying to pray for so many different needs. It is this. I write all their names on a sheet of paper and for each one I pray one word, like “protection”, “freedom”, “finances”, “security”, “breakthrough” etc…. Sometimes by reducing my prayer into just one word it distils everything into one place, rather like hitting the centre of a dartboard. Here I discover what is needed!
As Christians, we live in family communities, fellowships of brotherhood and sisterhood. This is an amazing thing! And such a blessing to be part of. In all of this I have found that I am continually investing in new relationships, yet also retaining the friendships I have already made in church life. Sometimes these old friends have moved abroad, or life has pulled them away from church, or they have felt called to a different place or ministry. So I find myself accumulating more and more people! More people I have a heart for but no more time! I have not found an easy way around this dilemma. The only way I find though it is to allow God’s grace to surround me. In this place I remember that I am simply called to walk forwards in life and follow Christ (Matthew 11:28). So some very dear encounters with others will be just that and fall away, and others will involve years of investment. And the only way I can figure this all out is to be led by the Spirit of love, not driven by “shoulds” or “coulds”. I am also finding that I need to extend this same grace and flexibility with my fellow travellers, for at times they too may need to let go of my friendship in order to embrace new horizons.
Often as I write I find myself slipping into a place where I believe God is speaking through me. I don’t think about this or plan it, it just seems to happen, and this song is one such occurrence. One day my thoughts had become preoccupied with a friends daughter who was facing a very serious medical condition. As I prayed and played the piano this song came to me. It speaks of God’s heart for those who journey through the darkest valleys as they battle with life threatening illnesses. If you too are facing something similar, I hope that God will meet with you through this song. I pray that as you or a loved one of yours dwells in this “space”, you will encounter the Living One.
In the accompanying film we have woven together a tapestry of images that reflects the Garden of Eden story. The scenes speak of eternal freedom, which we sometimes taste in this life in fleeting moments. We see a young woman running free, whole, well and full of hope, a father carrying his young son (reminiscent of the Father heart of God to us His children) and a young mother swinging her child with joy.
If you are in need of healing in some way, may the love of the Everlasting Father protect you, the hope of eternal life lift you, and power of the Almighty move within you as you watch this film.
You can read the lyrics to this film (and download a HD version) by clicking here.