Category Archives: Reflections

Musings and reflections on the nature of life and walking with God.

Grace

One thing Jesus must have been very aware of as he walked with his twelve disciples, teaching and ministering to them, was the importance of grace! It was essential that these men understood what was about to be released – the blessing that would follow from the death of their leader, their mentor and friend. They had to grasp that the Kingdom of God would come within them, and that they really could be bold and free before God. Why? because he needed them to have faith and he knew that if they were trapped in their humanity, their sin, their fear, their resentment, their desires, they would never amount to anything.

Yet they were not perfect – they were fallen – yet saved – human – yet born again of the Holy Spirit. Grace needed to be a supporting structure beneath them, inspiring acts of miraculous faith, underpinning each letter, each preach and drawing the lost like a magnet to the Father heart of God! Grace makes us whole, it makes us free, it makes us humble, it makes us giving, it makes us ask – safe in the knowledge that we do not earn our way into God’s kingdom but receive our way by inviting Jesus into our hearts. And it worked!! Think now – if the Holy Spirit wasn’t a real tangible intimacy with an eternal God – how – how on earth would just twelve men have carried the message in the transformational way they did? It’s a message that is still bright and clear today. Grace is real. Invite Jesus into your life today.

“Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me”. (Rev 3:20, NIV)

Time for physio!

I love being part of a church, mixing with people of different ages, backgrounds, gifts and temperaments. We are the body of Christ, each playing a part, life-giving and unique!

But what happens when a part of the body becomes so broken that it can no longer function? This is something that we need to be aware of in our church families.

If we are physically injured, several different types of cells work together in the human body to restore the broken part back to life, rather like a house being rebuilt with all the different trades (plumbers, electricians etc) working together as a team. We as church, the body of Christ can mirror this restorative work amongst ourselves! Life is complicated, and just as our physical bodies go through trauma, strain and illness, so do we suffer in our emotional, mental and spiritual lives. There are times when it is clear why a person may be broken, and I love the way in which church families re-arrange themselves to care for, protect and minister to the vulnerable. However sometimes wounds are not so obvious, so it is essential that the love of God reigns supreme, that the grace of God is flowing bountifully amongst us. It must flow before understanding, before judgement and before resentment. We may need to allow people to step back from a role without knowing why they have left it, forgive others abundantly when they seem troubled and release and support each other without questioning.

As we gather together, we release the Holy Spirit to move amongst us as comforter, healer and friend. I am always aware of the need to be guided by the spirit as I minister to others in a church service. To watch out for those whom need rest, to be aware of the wounded, sensitive to the weary, soft to those who feel hurt, and to be shelter to the broken. And I also believe God is into physiotherapy! He is into seeing our restoration right through to his children being strong, fit and released once again! That’s where the beauty of new hope needs to be proclaimed like a balm, where a message of understanding and truth can release the captive, and when a word of encouragement can breathe new vision into our hearts! Just like our physical bodies, there comes a time when we are strong enough to begin to re-exercise a gifting or re-activate giving. Sometimes we need to re-train ourselves to trust, care and love again, or to reclaim the power of forgiveness in our lives.

I have found myself on ‘the benches’ recently. I have not been able to be a major team player as I have been navigating family troubles. I am so thankful for others who have stepped in to take the strain, blessed by those who allow me to cry and see my hurt, and very grateful for the living body of Christ around me. So there is before us all a wonderful opportunity to be a part of this body! Could it be that you are needing rest, healing or ministry? Or possibly the rehabilitation of encouragement or in need of support to move into freedom again?

When the body of Christ moves as one, wrapped up in the grace of God, there lies a truly wonderful testimony and an amazing witness! Let’s be alive as a body! Who needs rest? Who needs a massage of hope? Who needs to start exercising those love, forgiveness or skill muscles again? Who needs some gentle support to do so? Who has recovered and is ready to go back into the team again? Who needs vision for the next step?

Let’s be active in caring for the body of Christ. And let’s be honest when we are the ones who are in need of physio for our hearts, minds or bodies. Let’s be real, wonderfully imperfect, yet amazing united as we join together to be the body of Christ.

Landing Space

Living in a fallen world can be a lonely experience. I have come to see this isolation, this separation is in opposition to the connectedness that Creator God intended for us all. I can only imagine that somehow in heaven we will enjoy a unity and intimacy with God and each other that we only experience as tiny fragments in our lives here on earth. So what is unity? A friend of mine who is not a Christian once described a “moment” he experienced at the end of a folk festival. “We all joined hands and agreed in that moment that love would overcome” Yes!! says the Spirit of God. In that moment his isolation was surpassed by connection. How much more connection is there for those who follow in the footsteps of Christ? When we as the family of God physically join hands and respond in our hearts in unison to our sovereign Lord, the Holy Spirit has a perfect landing space! Suddenly the skies clear, there is a runway for the grace of God and truth is in our midst.

Let’s not allow anything to prevent this space from happening in our families, in our churches, or in our wider world. Christ’s prayer for us is that we might be one. May we not be frightened of rejection, but rather be open to connection, confident in the redeeming power of the resurrected Christ!

Treasure Chest

God’s love is a like a treasure chest in the centre of our lives. It is at the very core of our families, and is the powerhouse of our callings in the world. In Paul’s first letter to the Corinthians there lies an explanation of love that explores the nature of this treasure trove. We can draw from this “love stash” at any time and it never fails to deliver. Why? Because God is love! As followers of Christ we don’t have a monopoly on it. God has poured love into his creation. It seeps out of every pore! This heavenly love has touched us, no matter who we are, what our background is or what world view we happen to hold. Most of us would site loving and being loved as the most important thing in life.

So I wonder why I have not cracked it? Why do I fail so many times to get this right in my own life? I just forget the treasure that is already there. Sometimes I am too tired to open the lid and take a look, or too hurt to receive forgiveness, too rushed to be kind, too needy to be giving, or too insecure to roll out humility. Yet! If I take a moment to dust it off, and open the lid again on the treasure trove of love I have been given, something remarkable begins to happen. Grace begins to flow again in my friendships! Differences fade away under the weight of God’s acceptance, and my heart is free to give and to live.

Note to self: visit the treasure chest! x

Turn This Boat Around

At the beginning of a new year, many of us relish the possibility of change. For some it is the thrill of setting a new course, for others that of developing relationships in family life, for still others it is the hope for new patterns to emerge in work life. I imagine that our Heavenly Father, the one who is bursting with love and forgiveness, longs to help us to embrace all these things.

I have so many things on my New Year list! Sometimes it feels as though even making a small change can take months of pondering and planning. Sometimes changing direction is like turning a really heavy boat around against the flow of the tide! All too often in early January I see some of these hopes fizzle out, drop off my agenda or become crushed by insecurity or doubt. It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. When I lift my eyes to the skies I see the birds fly where they choose on the winds of the moment! This is a beautiful metaphor for the freedom intended for us all. Why is it that so often we feel like we are moving in slow motion or dragging ourselves through treacle? Sometimes it is the well trodden paths of history which pull heavily on our decisions. At times it is the internal doubts and insecurities that confine us. At other times it is the ties in life, the responsibilities we carry, that hold us back. Or perhaps it is the way we look at these things? Could they be transformed into possibilities, joys and adventures? So let us stand, hand in hand with each other, and explore without fear! Share and laugh together. Take mini steps, moment by moment, day by day. Here we can hold steady to a loving God, and stand on the bed of grace given to us by Jesus. He is alive! And we can be alive too. So hope and breathe anew!

Reframing

I like to reframe things. As an artist I have always been fascinated at looking at things from a different angle, daring to change something in a picture. Equally in real life it fascinates me how retakes can transform our thinking, unlock our heart or heal our experiences. As followers of Christ we are urged to have open eyes, to be guided by love and acceptance and to be willing to forgive. And it truly works! I have had a tendency in the past to look down upon myself, to reject who I am. These days I take each thought captive! What if my shyness was reframed as gentleness, my self-doubt recognised as humility? Gradually I am released to be all that I can be! And at times in my blindness I have needed others to reframe my circumstances for me. Like how I see my children. A friend helpfully reframing my very intense son as a gifted perfectionist, or my emotional son reframed as empathetic.

As Christians we are given the tools for harmony. We reframe with love, we reframe with acceptance, we reframe with hope, we reframe with forgiveness. Not only does this transform our lives, it sends shoots of renewal into our families as we fan into flame the Godly qualities in our characters and allow the negative ones to slowly fall away.

The Human and the Godly

Where does my gifting begin and the anointing of God end? When people encounter me, do they clock how much of who I am is actually God working through me? When I speak out encouragement, give of myself or take time to pray, I am sometimes concerned that others may perceive me as something I am not! At times the timid, frightened me stands up to speak out on behalf of the marginalized. At other times the stuttering, confused me finds words full of love and eloquence. And at times the hesitant, doubting me finds faith to share, and bring hope and reassurance to the lost and the broken.

Yet I am a blend, a mix of human and heavenly. I’m stirred by kingdom promises, to create new flavours. I truly am a fusion of redemptive love and vulnerable humanity. Believe me, this is not an equation complete. I am work in progress! When I walk daily upon the love, truth and grace laid out in the word of God, I find kingdom life awakens. Now, in the darkness and dirt of a fallen world, truly amazing life moments happen. May I always give this life out to others. This is not the “old” me, but the “new” me. The restored me! Forgiven me! Free me! Hopeful me! God through me!

Beautiful Tune

Sometimes I just stop and listen. I might be in a cafe, picking up children from school, or walking down the street. It is an extraordinary thing to dwell for a moment on the sounds that surround us – the chatter of voices, scrapes and scratches from chairs and cutlery, the hum of appliances or the buzz of traffic. I wonder how God must feel when from this collage of sounds he hears us address him?

“Father” – a silent prayer amidst a social gathering.

“God it’s me” from behind the desk in a classroom.

“Jesus I love you” – grace filled singing heard above the cacophony of city life.

“Help me” – a fleeting thought within a workplace.

The sound of beautiful heart cries rising from a fallen world.

At times when I find I’m once again bewildered, confused by all around me I will try to listen for birdsong. Sometimes I find I can tune into their songs, and I sit and wonder. How is it that they sing so sweetly? These thoughts lead me home. Home to a creative Father, home to love reigning, home to the beautiful music which resounds from creation. “Lord, may this birdsong in my life take centre stage. May I tune into the kingdom of heaven more and more each day.”

Is Life a Tower or a Picture?

We all prefer not to be the one in need, the one who is confused, or the one not managing well. When I need assistance, I feel the little tower of control topple beneath me. Sometimes it only takes a brick to be displaced and all my stability seems in jeopardy. It is a precarious way to live, and yet most of us build in this way. Everything gets assembled, from our self image and careers paths, to our friendships, interests and finances, brick by brick, all carefully stacked upwards.

I believe we have this all wrong. The western ideas of individuality and progress leave us on unstable ground. What if life is more like a puzzle, with pieces of our lives linking together to form pictures and images? As one piece changes or disappears, our lives don’t collapse, we don’t become defeated or unstable. Instead, we discover that we are connected in a different way. New pictures emerge. And when we embrace brokenness in this way, we become softer, more malleable and aware of others. Now we no longer need to keep the tower stable. Now there is no tower, just a puzzle placed and made in a bed of grace.

And if we are free to remake an area of our lives, or change a belief or understanding, then we can allow others the grace to do the same. Maybe our picture might mingle a little more, our lives affect and enhance others, and we would allow our ourselves to be changed too.

Reflected By The Screen

As a teenager, I watched a lot of soaps! Anything from Dallas to Eastenders, Neighbours to Friends. I’m sometimes shocked by the amount of hours it’s possible to spend doing this. I suppose I was searching, straining to see and connect with the world, and I found media to be a quick fix for these things. I was also a bookworm!! Always eager to reach the next chapter, lost in the detail of a carefully crafted human tale. As my faith started to blossom, my prayer life flourished and I guess this need fell by the wayside. Suddenly I didn’t so want to fill my mind with fiction, and gradually cut out such “telly time”. And there was a blessing in this! I found that the dreadful “comparison game” halted, as we all know that many of these media characters are just that – illusions of fiction! What’s more they are “framed” in a way that flatters and distorts.

In this new season I began to have thought time to devote to real relationships, social issues and family. This created a space in my mind for God’s love to come and transform me. It was a revelation! Here I found great productivity and creativity.

Facebook

And now I find that this space is under threat again. This time it’s filled with real people. It’s a book brimming with wonderful friends and family in, both distant and present. With many of these people I might once have just exchanged cards at Christmas time. Now I have a perpetual window into their lives. Yet I feel the burden of this too! I find it hard to keep up with so many people. And sometimes Facebook makes me feel sad and empty…with so many people living apparently fun-packed lives, it makes wonder about my own. However, on more than one occasion I have presumed from Facebook that one of my friends is leading a wonderful life, only later to find out that their lives are in crisis.

So here I stand upon the edge of a great challenge. How can I engage with the new social media world, but not fall to it? How can I be thankful for the opportunity to engage with old friends, but not be bound by it? Maybe tonight I might do something radical and pick the phone up. Have a proper chat with just one person…just like the old days!